Saturday, March 7, 2009

Ask Di: Unfriending Someone

Di poses
Location: Our Virtual Advice Desk

Dear Di:

What is the proper way to un-friend someone who has a fragile ego, without hurting him? There's a guy who I'm sure wants more than casual friendship with me. I'm not interested in SL romance.

Often when I log on, he invites me to events or wants me to "just hang out." Maybe he isn't after sex, but at least he wants a close friend and I'm not sure I can spare the time for that and still enjoy SL. He's always online and I don't want to log in as an ALT constantly.

I'm tired of making excuses.


Ms. Popularity

Dear Ms. Popularity:

If you have truly exhausted the "I'm busy right now", "I won't be on for long" and have done the logging on as invisible, there are only 2 options I see. The one you pick depends on how blunt you are.

#1 (really blunt) - Just unfriend them and mute them. Don't tell them, don't say anything, just do it. They will not be able to contact you, and you move on with your SL. Chances are, unless they have few friends in SL, it will take them a while to notice you have dropped off of their list anyway. They will eventually get the hint tho. With this option there is no going back tho, even if they get thru to you somehow you have to ignore them and you can never be friends again.

#2 (not so blunt) - Tell them you are on SL to have fun, but you feel they are looking for more than that, and a SL romance is not on your agenda. Tell them you would like to still be friends and talk to them, but they can't be smothering you and pouncing on you the second you log on. If they can stick to that maybe you can keep them around, and if not, see #1 above.

P.S. Can you set them up with someone else?


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