Wednesday, January 27, 2010

State of the Fake Nation: Gimme My Free House, Linden Lab

Linden Furniture Girl
Location: Buyer's Remorse

When I hard about this new program, I figured the incentive for new premium members would bring in lots of residents who pay that $72 annual fee. That's real money for Linden Lab, whatever Mark Kingdon once said about his disinterest in premium memberships.

Our premium memberships include a 300L weekly stipend, but remember, the $72 is an actual-dollar payment to Linden Lab. The stipends are distributed with Linden Dollars that the Lab creates, like the US Federal Reserve printing more money.

This is a no-brainer for the Lab. As I realized (awakening me from a stupid torpor) from a recent post by Tateru Nino, when one cashes out Linden Dollars in SL, not a penny comes out of LL's pocket. A "sell order" is filled by another SL resident who wants to purchase some ready (fake) cash.

Okay, that's the end of SLecon 101. My non-snarky side is not interested; I had a look at some of the neighborhoods. They are too much like suburbia, a living arrangement that I detest in real life. And the new SLurbs lack roads, so where would I drive my fake car?

Now for the snarky part from an old resident (me). Take it away, other half of my personality!

Does anyone recall the "Furniture Girls" from the wonderfully ecological Heston film, "Soylent Green"? You gotta love this aspect of the ad. Poor lass is coming out of her blouse, too!

Well, I didn't get no stinking free house, no open-blouse babe, and no SL Stimulus package when I went Premium in hoo! I want my free suburban house! I want my "furniture"! I want it all and I don't wanna pay anything for what I deserve!

How closely SL mirrors the psychology of real life in the States. Hey, Mr. President! Change that State of the Union address, now! Give every citizen who sends the Treasury $72 a house and then a check for $1000, and all will be well for the nation and your legacy!

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