Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Another Second Life Hillbilly Abducted by Aliens!

Selecting Earth Creatures to A...

Location: Hellbilly Home Place

Iggy's note: I've asked our guests to wear a mic and a small camera when they enter the area. This dialogue and a few images were transmitted back to me, and I run it here in the interest of saving our world from a most nefarious plan...

Subcommander Zeno: Hmmmm...perhaps I'll find experimental subjects like these. I wonder where the other earth-creatures are hiding?

Oh my,  large specimen!

Subcommander Zeno: Oh my. That large specimen is promising…
Subcommander Zeno: Greetings, earth woman

TammiFay Digfoot: greetins there little fella. . .yu's a cute wun yu is

Subcommander Zeno: define "cute," female human

TammiFay Digfoot: um.....purty tu look at

Subcommander Zeno blushes

Subcommander Zeno (aside): heh heh. This impregnation may be rather simple...AHEM. Earth woman, you are needed for

TammiFay Digfoot: expearment---what kind of expriment

Subcommander Zeno: now hold still. This won't hurt...
Subcommander Zeno: I hope

Abduction Beam in Action

TammiFay Digfoot: OMG whut's that light
TammiFay Digfoot: i cain't see
TammiFay Digfoot: yu ain't so cute after all little man
TammiFay Digfoot: what on earf is that-thar green stuff?

Subcommander Zeno: I hope you enjoy the space-time portal ray
Subcommander Zeno: it will take you to my homeworld

Location: The Fortress of the Shining Overlord, Planet Blorg

Planet Blorg: Dont Ask!

Subcommander Zeno: now you are in the nerve center of our Leader's fortress!

TammiFay Digfoot: we's at Obama’s house?

Subcommander Zeno: ummm....yes. Sort of like that. Now follow me…
Subcommander Zeno: my, but you humans are big-boned, to judge from you and the other...specimen

TammiFay Digfoot: Whut “udder spacyman”?

Subcommander Zeno: To put it plainly in your earth-tongue, Yu'll git a gander rite soon-like. To get to our laboratory, you will, as one might say using a rather crude earth metaphor, "ride the rocket ship"

TammiFay Digfoot: well that’s mighty fine
TammiFay Digfoot: i ain’t never rode a rocket - 'cept at the county fair in Enoch Holler

Time to Ride the Rocket Ship, ...

Subcommander Zeno: well, this is the "Deee-lux" edishum. It will transport us to the Impregnation Pylon.

TammiFay Digfoot: and it won’t a real rocket anyways..Impreg whut?

Subcommander Zeno: Oh, yu will luv that-thar mersheen. It duz funny stuff n' makes yu a wide-skreen tellyvishun. I are a-studyin' up on how y'all earth-critturs talks

TammiFay Digfoot: well i declare

Subcommander Zeno: learning your tongue will enable us to take ove...I mean befriend your race proper-like :) Now hop up an' we'uns will take us a ride.

TammiFay Digfoot: you is doin a mite respektable job sir, speakin' English good.

TammiFay Digfoot: can i fit up thar too?

Subcommander Zeno: yes I do declare yu kin

My my! Dont injure me!

Subcommander Zeno: (blushing green) oh my

TammiFay Digfoot: this looks comfy

Subcommander Zeno sweats a bit

TammiFay Digfoot: haha
TammiFay Digfoot: i think you like it

Subcommander Zeno: don't injure me

Location: Pylon of the Impregnation Engine

Impregnation Pylon

Subcommander Zeno: Curses. The Modulator is still not back from the shop?

TammiFay Digfoot: Huh?

Subcommander Zeno: Oh, just a technical issue. I ran this dad-gum mersheen wif'out it on the furst hillbilly. (aside) Yet without it anything might happen. I need to run this experiment...the deadline for the world-conquest grant proposals is tomorrow!

TammiFay Digfoot: fidgety little fella yu is

Subcommander Zeno: observe. . .get a bit closer :)

TammiFay Digfoot: what are we lukin at? Look s like a big warshin’ macheen

Subcommander Zeno: Impregnerashum mersheen

TammiFay Digfoot: lord he’s drunk & speakin seen em in town once

Subcommander Zeno: yu did? Well, not like this. Have a seat :)
Subcommander Zeno: straddle it like yu’s a-ridin a mule tu town…WHEE HOO

Subcommander Zeno turns on the Impregnation Engine

Subcommander Zeno: do you feel...odd?

TammiFay Digfoot: i feel a mite tingly inside

Subcommander Zeno: oh's it did on the other one
Subcommander Zeno: say...on earth...
Subcommander Zeno: which gender produces the young?

TammiFay Digfoot: whut?

Subcommander Zeno: I forgot to ask the male

TammiFay Digfoot: you needs to speak english mistopher… i dont know no furen languages

Subcommander Zeno: du babies kum frum gals o' frum fellers?

TammiFay Digfoot: oh - from gals - why didn't you say so

Subcommander Zeno: uh oh

TammiFay Digfoot: i'm feeling hongry

Subcommander Zeno: oh...never mind

TammiFay Digfoot: you gots a sammitch in there?

Subcommander Zeno: Sammitch? No, but…I took this earth beverage from the other subject…he said it eases the process by which earth female can…um..complete our experiment.

Subcommander Zeno takes a pull on the jug

TammiFay Digfoot: mistopher i don't understand yo fancy langumage

Shine jug wif drunk (v.2) whispers: watch that third sip

Subcommander Zeno: Have sum Shine! Hic…

TammiFay Digfoot: oohhh....shine I understand that wun

Subcommander Zeno: it powered my...hic…spacecraft
Subcommander Zeno stumbles
Subcommander Zeno: sho....
Subcommander Zeno: lesh GO! Burp!

TammiFay Digfoot: aww little feller caint hold his likker

Subcommander Zeno: HOOO WHEE

TammiFay Digfoot: watch now little feller
TammiFay Digfoot: take it easy
TammiFay Digfoot: yo's a wobblin like a newborned calf

Subcommander Zeno: hic

TammiFay Digfoot takes the jug...whar am we goin' tu NOW?

Subcommander Zeno: we am a goin' tu...tu...a whachamacall it...
Subcommander Zeno: ZOO!

TammiFay Digfoot: Yee Haw! I luvs the zoo...can i git me sum peanuts & a co-cola?

Subcommander Zeno: Sho nuff kin! But....yu gits mor'n that…yu gits impregnated.

TammiFay Digfoot: What am "Impregnerated"?

Subcommander Zeno: well, this-hear mersheen gits you--burb--wif a chile, missy

TammiFay Digfoot: chile is too spicy fo me hon…makes me powerful gassy

Subcommander Zeno: no…I means yu now am expectin' a bun in the oven

TammiFay Digfoot: ooh a sticky bun – they am good too…I'll take wun of those

Subcommander Zeno: an rite soon yu gits tu meet your love-mate in our ALIEN ZOO

TammiFay Digfoot: Yu dun menshuned that-thar zoo alreddy. Whar’s mah peanuts & co-cola?

Subcommander Zeno: in our zoo...hic…there is an earthman yu knows…Pappy Enoch.

TammiFay Digfoot: Dang his hide. Well,it will be fun anysohow. I loves the zoo! They got ellyfants thar?

Subcommander Zeno: no—burp--ellyphunts
Subcommander Zeno: just Pappy
Subcommander Zeno: does he count?

TammiFay Digfoot: well close enuff. Let's go.

Subcommander Zeno (aside): Muahaha. Little does she know what lies ahead...

Alien Zoo!

To be continued…

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